When most of us are young, we see everything through rose-tinted glasses. Some of us are fortunate enough to have a happy childhood, free from worry, and nothing means more than the cuddles given to us by our parents.

As a child, I was always very tuned in to my parents. I could sense when things were good and when things were really very bad. But I never understood what mental health was. 

My mum had depression on and off throughout our childhood, and in her case, was usually triggered by certain events and stress. I never would have described my mum as unwell though. Being poorly meant having a cough, cold, sickness bug. Being ill meant something physical to me, usually something that my mum or dad could visibly see. 

I've always been a worrier. I can overthink something a million times and come to a conclusion so far away to where the situation began. 

Once I began puberty, and became a teenager, my low mood was often put down to hormones. Something I will grow out of. 

At 21, and working for a Mental Health organisation, my opinion has changed massively. 

The chances are, a mental health illness will affect you at some point in your life, whether it be yourself, or someone you are close to. It can be so hard to understand some mental health diagnosis, and therefore some people may choose to not understand. 

I was diagnosed with depression and generalised anxiety disorder a few months ago, and going to get the diagnosis from the GP was the scariest thing i've ever done. Even though I work for a mental health organisation, I felt worried that the GP would feel I am silly, or overdramatic. When I was signed off of work, I felt so embarrassed, and if I'm honest, ashamed. I felt weak. 

I felt it was difficult to tell Luke I was put on to tablets, worried that he would think me silly. I was worried that he would think being with me too stressful, and wouldn't want to stay with me. 

How very wrong I was. Luckily, all of my friends and family were very understanding, and encouraged me to talk. Try to explain sometimes how my mind was working. This can really difficult, as you don't really know why your mind is doing this. 

I understand now. In order to keep yourself safe, you must try to talk. Even if it's in your diary. Mental Health is not embarrassing nor weak, and you must never feel ashamed. It is an illness in it's own right, just the same as a broken leg. It can be debilitating, and doesn't have a set recovery time. 

Writing this is incredibly difficult. Even though my readership isn't high, I still feel like i'm airing information about myself which is embarrassing, but I think to myself, if i had a broken leg, would I hide it? I don't think I would.

On this day, I think it's really important that we talk. We talk about all mental health, we try to learn about mental health, and we try to empathise with those with mental health conditions. 

We are alive and loved and wanted and important. We are not weak. We are not alone. 

Thank you for reading,

Ellie xxx